Portal Penguin
by Rainbow-Ebony
Summary: When Skipper wakes up in a strange facility he and his men must work their way out while keeping the Private ignorant of the danger they could be in... but what happens when they discover that the computer aiding them through the 'tests' starts saying some very strange things... and what will happen when these things almost become a reality. *Rated T for Portal* MAY have KowaOS


**Portal. Penguin.**

**Chapter one: The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device**

"Skippah!"

I awoke with a start and looked around; This wasn't the HQ. Where'd the voice even come from?

"Skipper, we're over here."

Well, that was Kowalski's voice, but where did it come from.

"Kippah!"

Rico, no doubt.

"Where are you men?" I called. No answer.

I shook my head and tried to figure out where I was. A small room with glass walls. There was a bed in the room as well as a toilet, a radio (which was playing a rather cheerful song), and various items placed on the unit the radio was on. My mind was buzzing with questions: _How'd I get here? Where are my men? What is this place?_

**"Hello,"** Said a robotic, female voice **"And, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre."**

"Who are you?" I called out.

**"... We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one."**

"The what?"

**"Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin ** **the test proper."** "'Test'? What 'test'?" I asked "I demand that you tell me why I'm here!" **"Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and ** **learning are the primary goals of the enrichment centre activities, serious ** **injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please ** **refrain from-"** The voice glitched and, I'll admit, at the time this was slightly nerve-wracking. **"Please stand back."** The voice asked politely, as if nothing had happened **"The portal will open in three.."**

"Portal?"

**"Two... One."**

On the only section on the wall that wasn't glass a large orange 'portal' appeared. I wasn't sure what to do at first but it was obvious that there was something on the other side. I poked my head through and was slightly unsettled when I could actually see myself. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to explain. At least it was easier for Kowalski.

I walked fully out of the room via the portal and looked around. My surroundings didn't differ much as I was basically in the outer area of the glass room I had been in earlier. As I was walking around I noticed another room. I entered the room and grumbled at the surroundings.

"So this is what you meant when you said 'test' Computer Lady." I muttered "You can't even hear me can you?"

_Must be a recorded message _I thought.

As much as I loved studying military strategies, this seemed more like a Kowalski thing. The thought of my men trapped somewhere here seemed to phase me more than I had thought it would. I decided the best thing to do was to get on with this stupid test.

_How hard can it be? _I thought.

I scanned the test area... thing... place. And noted all the items in the room: A weird tube thing, a button and a camera.

Immediately I was slightly worried about the camera. The idea that someone or something was observing me complete this test was suspicious to say the least. I determined that If I were to jump up and knock the cameras off I would most likely be much safer.

I jumped into the air, did a back-flip and kicked the camera next to the door right off.

**"To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy ** **Vital Testing Apparatus."** The computer lady said.

_Well_... I thought _I guess that's __**not**__ such a good idea._

I turned back around to face the rest of the test room... thing. And I examined the tube.

"Nope," I said "...I don't get it."

I spoke too soon. The tube opened and a small box fell. A small, _grey _cube... box... thing.

I looked back at the button and something clicked in my mind. Button: Box.

I grabbed the box, which, to be honest with you, was heavy even for me. and placed it on the button.

**"Excellent. Please proceed into the Chamber-lock after completing each test."**

The door opened.

and behind it were my men.

"Skippah!" Private yelled, he looked like he'd been crying. He ran over and gave me a hug. I was unsure whether to push him away for being to soppy or to hug him back. I hugged him back awkwardly. I sort of missed him too.

"I'm surprised you made it through that Skipper." Kowalski said as he stood with his flippers behind his back.

I let go of Private. "How'd you know? Were you there?"

"No." He replied.

"We had to do a test to Skippah." Private said hugging me again.

"Let me guess," I said bitterly as I ignored the young one's hug. "Kowalski aced it in less than five seconds."

"Yep!" Kowalski said proudly.

"And I bet you had a good, long conversation with the Computer lady while you were at it."

"Computer lady?" Kowalski and Private asked in unison.

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm sorry Skippah, I don't know what you're talking about." Private said.

**"Note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This ** **Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille will vapourize any unauthorized ** **equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted ** **Storage Cube."**

"See!" I said "Computer lady."

"Now that_ is_ intriguing." Kowalski said "No Skipper, this is the first time we've heard her."

_Why was she only talking to me?_ I thought.

"Skippah?" Private asked.

"Yeah?" I asked

"Does she have a name?"

"I have no idea." I admitted.

"Maybe we'll find out later." Kowalski said. He had taken the opportunity to distract the Private from the fact we had no idea why we were here or how we were going to get out by trying to keep a conversation going. I did the same.

"Yeah, maybe you can think of a name for her?" I suggested.

"Yay!" Private said skipping on ahead to the elevator.

Kowalski and I shared a worried glance. I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

How the heck do we get home.

...

The elevator didn't take long to get to the next test chamber (That's what Kowalski told me they're called). Private rushed eagerly out. At least he was happy about the test.

"Safe?" Rico asked me.

"Yeah." I tried to reassure him. He seemed convinced and followed Private in and the two examined the chamber.

**"Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button."** "Ooo..." Kowalski said "They're great at naming their inventions here." "That makes a nice change." I joked. Kowalski didn't seem amused and went over to help the others. I followed. "I don't get it." Private told Kowalski as he walked over." "Well," Kowalski said "I'm not sure what you don't understand... after all... she _did _just tell you what to do." "Well... how do I get to the cube... box thing?" "With portals." "I see," I said "the portals around the room change. You see that orange one over there?" I pointed my flipper towards the wall where, like I had said, a glowing orange portal was. "And that blue one over there." Kowalski added. "Ah huh." Private nodded. "Well," Kowalski explained "The blue portal keeps on changing position and, as you already know, from your first chamber (I'm assuming they were all the same)-" "Apart from your strange lack of Computer lady." I added "Apart from that, then going through a orange portal makes you come out of a blue. And visa-versa."

"So... If we go in the orange portal at the right time when the blue portal is in the room with the cube... box thing then we can get it. If we go out quick enough then we can wait outside the orange portal until the blue portal moves to the room with the button and then we can do the same for the room with the door." Private asked.

"Yep, like I just did... while you were explaining that." I said

"Great!" Kowalski said "Now we just all need to go through the door."

"We need to wait for the portal to go back to the door room though." Private said.

After the portal had come back we went into the door room.

**"Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged ** **exposure to the button are not part of this test."**

"I'd hate to find out what the effects _are _of 'prolonged exposure to the button'." Kowalski said

"Oh," I said "It can't be worse than 'prolonged exposure' to any of your inventions."

...

The elevator took no longer than before and we came out into a corridor.

"Skippah, guns!" Private exclaimed running over to the glass wall at the side of the corridor.

He was right. Through the glass three large guns could be seen. They were shooting portals left and right.

**"You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is ** **not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture ** **Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."**

"I'm starting to think this facility doesn't care much for the safety of anyone." Kowalski said

"That's not exactly new to us." I replied.

The door at the end of the corridor opened and all three of us went down some steps.

I noticed a small hole in the wall next to us. Luckily we were all small enough to fit. I'm not sure whether I was annoyed or shocked at what I saw next.

Two mammals, one sat on the middle holder for the gun and the other stood by another holder. both were holding guns.

"Hello, Slap-happy penguins, I, the king, which is me, is winning the game of grabbing the thing first."

"Ring-Tail!"

"Hey Skipper." Said the other unenthusiastically. She looked rather frustrated, not at us though. She was an otter.

"Marlene?" Kowalski exclaimed.

"Julien?" Private exclaimed.

"You're kidding me!" I yelled "How could two _MAMMALS_ get to the guns before _PENGUINS_?"

"Because we are being better than you silly." Julien said.

"Skipper..."

"Kowalski, options STAT!"

"Well... we could split the three guns between by pairing off and giving the gun to the most reliable."

"Um... wait." Julien said "The king is not to be sharing his king things with the fishy smelling penguins."

"Fine then." I said "You can share with Marlene: the oyster eating otter"

"Who will be holding the portal gun." Kowalski added.

Marlene grinned, threw her portal gun to me and grabbed Julien's.

**"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-"**

Once again the Computer lady glitched out just before she could elaborate.

"Hey!" Julien squealed "The king demands that you give back to him his kingly king thing that he found first!"

"I suggest that Skipper mans the Portal device for his pair."

I held the Portal gun triumphantly.

"I'll go with the Private." I said. Private clapped his flippers together happily.

"Alright," Kowalski said "I'll man the device for my pair, I'll go with Rico.

Kowalski sorted out Julien's complaints so I had a moment to think.

_So Computer lady..._ I thought to myself _What's the deal, hu? You gonna help us get out or what?_

"Alright Sir." Kowalski said "All done."

I looked at the neat and orderly row Kowalski had made the others stand in. They were all standing next to their partner. Ring-Tail was fidgeting and trying to snatch the gun of Marlene who showed no obvious signs of annoyance at her assigned partner. I found myself wondering what it would be like if Marlene was my partner. I laughed in my head at the ridiculously naive thought and walked over next to Private.

Kowalski, who was at the front, nodded and lead the way to the elevator. We all got inside and stood awkwardly waiting for the next test chamber.

I'll be honest, my gut didn't like this place at all.

...

**A/N:** **This is my first proper fan fiction written about a game. I have written Penguins of Madagascar Fan fictions before but, as you may already know, I refused to spell 'Skipper' as 'Skippah' when Private was speaking. But after a lot of thought I decided I would do it for this fan fiction. I just feel it adds a bit of innocence to Private making him more child-like. So, please enjoy this badly written yet unique story. (NOT humanized) Also, regarding the fact I want GLaDOS' name to be known to Skipper as soon as possible, I will have her tell him her name (I know this isn't in the game... but in the game Chell isn't a male penguin XD)**


End file.
